Tom Collivander and the Order of the Thunderbird, A Potter Parody Read online


Tom Collivander and the Order of the Thunderbird

  By Jonathan Lockwood

  Copyright 2016 Jonathan Lockwood

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  Chapter 1 – Collivanders

  It was a fine August afternoon, the sun was shining brightly and the streets of Diagonal Alley were as busy as ever. Witches and wizards going about, doing their shopping, having a laugh and generally having a good time. However, there was one person amongst them who was not. Thomas Collivander. Tom was a 15 year old boy just like any other wizarding child, except for one thing. Tom had recently become an orphan and hadn’t quite come to terms with such a loss.

  He was staying with his uncle, Garrick Collivander, who had taken him in after the tragic deaths of Tom’s parents, despite Tom insisting he could take care of himself. Tom’s parents had been blacksmiths in Sweden, some of the very best. Most wizards thought being a blacksmith was a stupid profession for a wizard because you could just use magic to create whatever you needed or summon a muggle version. But most wizards didn’t understand. By incorporating magic into their work, Tom’s parents could produce objects far greater and more valuable than any produced by magic alone. When you can use magic, you don’t need to rely on a job to survive. Hence, you can pursue your interest. Tom’s parents took pride in their work and it showed in the quality.

  However, only a month ago, they died tragically in a gas explosion. Even though both of Tom’s parents were wizards, they hadn’t had time to use magic to save themselves before the gas had taken its toll.

  Tom sometimes worked in the forge with them. He’d spent summers since he was 8 years old, working with his parents, improving year on year. However, on that particular day, he’d been out with friends and so hadn’t been able to save them. It had been horrible for him to come home and find a ruin where their forge had once stood. He moved aside some of the wreckage as quick as he could until he could get in and that’s where he found his parents bodies.

  Tom had wept there and then, struggling to believe what he was seeing. It took him a while to even move from the spot. Eventually, he removed his parents from the ruin and buried them with the help of his parent’s best friends. The funeral was short but beautiful. As soon as it was over, he’d set off with Garrick for his new home in London.

  Since the accident, Tom had been helping out in his uncle’s store, Collivanders, the best wand shop in the world. Tom much preferred being hands on and breaking a sweat to standing in a shop but he was happy to do it because it kept his mind off his parents. However, since most people only bought one or two wands in their lives, the shop was generally very quiet. He’d mainly been dealing with 11 year olds who were getting their first wands which he found rather annoying. I definitely wasn’t that rude when I was 11!

  Eventually, 2 kids who looked of similar age to Tom came into the store. “Ron, why do you want a new wand, you already have one” said the girl, bossily.

  Ron replied, “Hermione, the rate I get through them, I’m bound to need one soon with everything that’s going on. Besides, if I don’t spend this money now, you can be sure someone else in my family will have a use for it.”

  “Suit yourself. Hey, who’s this guy? I wonder where Collivander is.”

  Tom, who had been listening, spoke. “Begging your pardon, but I couldn’t help over hear. Are you Hermione Danger? The one that Victor Dumb went out with?” Ron’s face suddenly turned scarlet.

  “Yes I am. But how did you know that? You don’t go to Hogwash do you?”

  “I’m friends with Dumb or Dumbo as we call him. I go to Durmprang. Or at least I did until last year. I’m joining Hogwash this year.”

  “You know Victor? How is he? Why are you joining Hogwash now?” She spoke very quickly.

  “He’s alright, though I’m not sure if I should be the one to tell you this but he’s got a new girlfriend.” Ron suddenly perked up. “And after the big disappearance of our headmaster, Walkeroff, my family didn’t want me staying at that place,” finished Tom. This wasn’t true at all. He’d had to come to Hogwash because his uncle had made him, now that Tom had moved in with him. But Tom didn’t want to tell people just yet about his parent’s deaths. Hermione, who didn’t seem the slightest bit upset about the news of Dumbo’s new girlfriend, simply said, “Well, I look forward to seeing you at school. What year are you going to be in?”

  Ron, who had been standing there for a few minutes unusually quietly, finally butted in angrily. “Listen mate, are you gonna help me find a new wand or not?”

  Hermione, suddenly taken aback, said accusingly “Sorry Ron, but we were just having a conversation. Is that not allowed anymore?” However, the real reason for Ron’s tone was because of jealousy. Tom was very tall, 6ft 5, handsome and muscular, due to his years of forging. He also had a very well defined chin and thick, wavy blonde hair. Looks that could cause many girls to become distracted.

  Tom said quickly before an argument broke out, “Sorry, sir. If you could stand over here so I can take your measurements to work out the best wand for you. I just need your head circumference, bicep size and little toe diameter.”

  The rest of the time in the shop was spent in silence, apart from the polite formalities that a shopkeeper must show to its customers. By the time Hermione and Ron had left the store, with Ron buying a new wand of oak, 11 inches with rat hair in its core, Diagonal alley had quietened drastically and it was time to close up shop. Tom, was still thinking about Hermione and Ron. He didn’t understand why they seemed to hate each other even though they look liked friends. Depressingly he thought to himself, at least I’ll know someone when I turn up to Hogwash as the new kid.

  He went to lock the door but just before he reached it, Hermione came rushing back in. Slightly out of breath, she panted “I’m sorry about Ron. He’s a really nice person most of the time but he can just get a bit impatient sometimes. His hearts in the right place though.” What did she mean by that? Tom wondered. Does that mean she liked him as more than friends or that he wasn’t right in the head? Realising that he hadn’t replied to Hermione for some time now, he quickly said, “Don’t worry about it, I’m sure he is.”

  Hermione, still looking slightly upset, said, “Well, I look forward to seeing you at Hogwash.” She was half way out the door when she stopped, turned around and asked, “What’s your name by the way?”

  “Tom. Tom Collivander.”

  “It’s nice to meet you Tom.” She then left and Tom started smiling to himself. Maybe this year isn’t going to be so bad after all.